It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
