Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
