I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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