I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER