ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
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Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high