Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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