Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. http://tfl.nu/df8e
  Replies (27) Good night (4397) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again. http://tfl.nu/xdhu
  Replies (21) Good night (922) Bad night (4511)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is http://tfl.nu/mseg
  Replies (21) Good night (4568) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it. http://tfl.nu/duoc
  Replies (37) Good night (3520) Bad night (4777)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/1hw4
  Replies (4) Good night (3078) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen http://tfl.nu/0xt9
  Replies (17) Good night (5715) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself. http://tfl.nu/hfdh
  Replies (12) Good night (992) Bad night (7222)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning. http://tfl.nu/a0no
  Replies (8) Good night (3676) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender? http://tfl.nu/bcp3
  Replies (4) Good night (1319) Bad night (2297)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome. http://tfl.nu/mlzd
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown http://tfl.nu/xg0v
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts http://tfl.nu/bmph
  Replies (14) Good night (1278) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU http://tfl.nu/okh4
  Replies (6) Good night (696) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat. http://tfl.nu/cjmw
  Replies (2) Good night (1352) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea http://tfl.nu/yi5k
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (377)

Randomize