why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
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You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
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I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"