UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
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Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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