Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
