Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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