Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
a search helicopter?!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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