He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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