Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
