Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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