is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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