I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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