are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
