I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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