Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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