I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
