Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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