You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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