If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
