She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
