How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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