Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He has the fingertips of a God
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