i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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