I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
