are you still at the devil's house?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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