Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ketchup is God's man juice
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize