Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
