I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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