We named our party play list daddy issues
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
