Heybabeimwearingurpanties
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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