Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize