...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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