My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
