Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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