My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
