theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
