Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
