oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
