Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
