lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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