I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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