You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
