Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
