I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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