just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize