its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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