i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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