I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
