Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
