Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
