We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
