but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just high enough for therapy.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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