i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
