You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
