It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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