those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
