Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
