So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
