Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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